Friday, October 21, 2011

Hating for hating.

I'm at war with myself.
It's true.
Not for a conventional reason, either.
At least I don't think so.
I hate myself for hating myself.
Don't get it?
Let me explain.
Often times I will look at a photo or a mirror and berate myself for not being motivated to exercise.
It's true. I am 17 pounds overweight.
I have good reasons too. Obesity and diabetes runs in my family.
Then I'll talk myself out hating myself, telling me that Heavenly Father loves me how I am.
Then I argue with the facts that He wants me to be healthy and that no boy will ever like me if I'm not at least somewhat physically attractive.

Help? Please?
I need some convincing arguments/ motivation for my brain.
Now would be nice.

3 comments:

  1. you are at an age where your weight really doesn't mean much. your growing and your weight is always changing. don't exercise because you have to, do it because you want to. it makes it so much better. find a bunch of up beat songs and just go running. i know exactly what you are talking about, i have those same worries. and it's okay. just do your best physically. don't do it for someone else, do it for yourself. find something that makes you want to exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I actually go through that process often also. But I think the beginning of the summer was the wrost, I thought I need to be active so a boy will like me, I need to gain some muscle. I was just having self doubt. I made a goal with myself to start running and I did I ran everyday at 5 in the morning and I gained so much self confidence. You just need to find a goal, do it and you will gain so much self confidence, and if you ever want to go running you can let me know I would love to go with you. But believe me you are not over weight and really lots of guys aren't physically active so they won't care if you are not. You just need to be your self and they will love you for who you are and not for something like a sport, and if they don't accept you then they do not deserve a beautiful daughter of god named Rebekah. Who by the way loves you weather you are healthy or not, he loves you no matter what and doesn't want you to be hurting, he wants you to be happy. So just remember that not matter what happens, your hevenly father loves you, for being you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate that nasty voice in my head that is so mean to me. Even though I say things I regret later and I definitely need to exercise more and eat less, it's just no help when that nasty voice starts nagging me. She makes me want to eat more and skip exercise just to defy her. Sometimes I just have to tell her to leave me alone. But actually, she's me. When I start talking to myself in that nasty voice, I stop and think, "you would never talk to one of your children in that mean way, so stop talking to yourself that way." Rebekah, I can tell that you are a very kind friend, don't talk to yourself in ways that are meaner than the way you would talk to your friends. Try to inspire yourself the way you would inspire your best friend who needs help.

    ReplyDelete

hi there.
i like words.
i like you.
i like your words.
go on, comment.