overheard.

-Atheists can't do exponential functions, because they don't believe in higher powers.

-Tree powers, ACTIVATE!

-What's green and has wheels?
-I dunno. What?
-Grass. I lied about the wheels.

-Did you hear about the man who was completely burned on his left side? He's all right now.

-She's giggling behind you, isn't she?
-Like a maniac

MY TAPE! (Mattress people should remember this)

-Wait, what? What kind of answer is that?
-It's not. It's supposed to create an air of mystery.

Birthday PWN!

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Fan-girl Shriek)

-I'm suffering from Broken Heart Syndrome.
-_-
-What? It's a real syndrome!

Be LEGIT and vote for BRIT!

"I don't need to flirt. I will seduce you with my awkwardness."

"You're flying to Chicago?"

(Dialogue)
-When's your birthday?
-March
-Oh, I thought it was in June....

"Lives with Henry? Is it a love affair?"

"Shut up, Josef."

"Billy owns a rice farm."

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