Another shot.

It has literally been 8 months since I last posted on my blog.

I kind of missed it.

But also kind of not. (I'll explain that in a bit)

Here's a quick rundown of what I've been up to recently (if you don't follow me on Twitter. If you do, you can probably skip this bit)

-I ran two 5Ks

-I got in a car crash

-I learned to drive a manual

-I developed an unhealthy obsession with a certain British actor.

-Senior year!

-Senior pics!

-I became Laurels president

-I completed my last year or marching band (sob)

-I became 'addicted' to Pinterest

-I joined the school newspaper

-I found happiness

That last item is why I haven't really been blogging recently.

See, I used to use my blog for my emotional rants. If I was sad, depressed, angry, lusting for blood, or overly infatuated with a boy, I would blog about it.

Then I realized, I was annoying the living daylights out of everyone who read my blog.

So, I stopped.

For a while, I stopped because I was still overly emotional, and didn't want to risk posting about it on my blog.

After that ended, I realized I needed to be happier in my outlook, and so I started searching for the silver lining.

I've gotten quite good at it, if I do say so myself. 

So, I think I'm ready to give this blogging thing another shot.

Bekah's newfound positive outlook is ready for launch.

Here we go.

On Serious Topics, Like Suicide

This is the second suicide of a kid in my school system.
His name was Tyler, and he was in ninth grade.
The first was Sydney, and she was a senior.
I was so grateful as I was scrolling through Facebook today.
I found this, by my formerYW's leader.
I think everybody needs to hear it:

~~~~~~~

WHY I DIDN'T COMMIT SUICIDE, BY SISTER PACK

Less than two days ago, [my daughter's] friend took his life.  Last night she came home from a 90-minute candlelight vigil held in his honor.  As I looked at her puffy red eyes, a flood of memories came back to me.  When I was her age, I had decided to do the same thing.

Obviously, I didn’t do it or else I wouldn’t be able to write this note.  I can count on one hand the number of people I have ever told about this.  But because this is the third suicide in a month in my community, I’ve decided to go public as to (1) why I wanted to die and (2) why I didn’t die.

WHY I WANTED TO DIE
I decided to commit suicide for two main reasons.  First, I wanted to exact revenge on my bully.  I figured this would be the most effective way to inflict on her the kind of pain I thought she was inflicting on me.  My plan was to leave a note saying it was all her fault and she should blame herself for my death.  I fantasized about how miserable and tormented she would be knowing that she caused this.

Second, I felt like I wasn’t an earthly being having spiritual experiences, but that I was a spiritual being having earthly experiences (I still feel that way).  I was tired of being away from my Heavenly Father and all the trials and heartache associated with living on earth.  I missed God and wanted to be with Him.

WHY I DIDN’T DIE
I finally came very close to actually doing it when my dad unknowingly stopped me.  That jolted me into the reality of what I was doing.  I realized that I was looking at a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  While I knew that I would create heartache for my bully, I realized that heartache wouldn’t last forever.  Eventually she’d be able to deal with her feelings of guilt.  She’d grow up, get married, have children, and live a full life.  I never would.  It finally dawned on me that my plan for revenge was punishing me far more than her.

The other reason why I didn’t do it was fear of what would happen to me when I died.  I was afraid that Heavenly Father would be mad at me for what I did in order to see Him.  As a result, I was afraid it meant that I would be separated from Him because I broke the commandment “Thou shalt not kill.” This seemed worse than being separated from Him on earth.  I have no idea what happens to people who choose to take their own life.  As a 14-year-old, I decided I didn’t want to find out.

Less than six months later, my cousin killed himself on the one-year anniversary of his best friend’s suicide.  Watching the pain and heartache my aunt went through, and how hard it was for my dad to try to comfort her, I knew that I had made the right choice.  Not only would I have punished my bully, I would have punished those who loved me as well, my friends and family.  I committed to myself that I would never ever again consider suicide as an option.  I’m proud to say that 29 years later, I never have.

~~~

(Hi. It's me again)
Please, don't ever commit suicide. It's the wrong kind of attention. Really.

My Wage

I bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more

However I begged at evening

When I counted by scanty store.

For Life is a just employer

He gives you what you ask

But once you have set the wages

Why, you must bear the task

I worked for a menial's hire

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life

Life would have paid.

-Jessie B. Rittenhouse

Don't settle for less.

Set your wage high,

And let Life pay you back.

revamped. again.

Yeah, I revamped my blog.
Again.
I'm turning into a real Mormon-teenage-girl-who's-also-a-blogger.
I like the dark grey better than I liked the white.

Welcome to Mostly Wise Words
(formerly surreal dreams and broken means)

New Years and Kissing, Part 2

For Part 1, click here.

Yeah, I got kissed on the cheek.
First time I've been kissed by a guy- ever!- that's not in my family.
Whoo hoo!

Most people don't consider that a "real" kiss.
Which I accept. Good for you.

Let me tell you WHY I'm grateful for this experience.
It's not because Ifinally "had my first kiss" or whatever.
On the contrary, I'm grateful because I realized something.

I realized I'm SCARED TO DEATH of my first kiss.

Yup. Sounds about right.
I have not yet kissed a guy, not "really", according to all you literalists.
And I'm scared to death of it.

It's probably not healthy.
But I'm glad I realize this, anyways.

New Years and Kissing Part 1

Sometimes I'm a super romantic.
Like New Years Eve.
I'd be lying if I wasn't half-hoping that someone would kiss me.
You know, something like this:

D'awww

It was kind of a lamo night, to start with.
None of my friends, besides the ones in the SYC, were there.
I was pretty much alone.

Don't get me wrong; it was fun to do all the stuff I do with the SYC, like raffle and handing out noisemakers.
But it wasn't really the same.

So, in my state of loneliness, I found myself wandering the dance floor like a loner about 5 minutes before midnight.
I felt pretty happy; the night had gone well and work hadn't ended badly, like it does some nights.
Suddenly one of my few friends that was there grabs my hand and pulls me to the middle of the dance floor, right underneath where we had strung the balloons a few hours before.

"You have to be right here at midnight," he said. "It's really cool to watch the balloons go over you."
I agreed, and spent the next five minutes just partying it up with the strangers from Highland around me.
(Yeah, we get people from Highland at our dances. Be jealous.)

So we get to that point with the countdown.
3...2...1...
(Side note: At this point I have abandoned all hope for a New Years kiss, just like I do every year. It's not like I'm heartbroken or anything, I've just accepted that it's not going to happen)
Anyways.
Whoo hoo! Screaming and cheering and balloons cascading around my face. It's an adventure.
Suddenly:
A warm, kind of moist-ish feeling on my cheek.
........
What?
A kiss?
A cheek kiss at that, but a KISS?
Head spinning, cheeks flushing, all that nonsense.

I will forever be eternally grateful for my friend who kissed me at the stroke of midnight.
Even if it was a cheek kiss.
I'll explain more in part 2.

I got nothing.

I got onto my blog today.
I was all like "I'm going to blog today!"
And then I got to the "Create New Post" page.
I got nothing.

Silent Night

Looking for an inspirational film for your holiday season?

Silent Night, directed by Christian Vuissa.

Very moving, and has the most beautiful version of the song "Silent Night" that I've ever heard.

(It's the story of how the carol came into being)

Teach the Children

"The children of today seem to have somehow missed out on the true spirit of Christmas. It's not their fault. It's just that the adults, many of them not having been taught themselves, have forgotten to teach the children," said Santa, tears in his eyes.

"Teach them what?" I asked.

Santa's kind old face became soft, more gentle. His eyes began to shine with something more than tears. He spoke softly. "Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Teach them that the part of Christmas we can see, hear, and touch is much more than meets the eye. Teach them the symbolism behind the customs and traditions of Christmas which we now observe. Teach them what it is they truly represent."

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny Christmas tree and set it on my mantle. "Teach them about the Christmas tree. Green is the second color of Christmas. The stately evergreen, with its unchanging color, represents the hope of eternal life in Jesus. Its needles point heavenward as a reminder that mankind's thoughts should turn heavenward as well."

Santa reached into his bag again and pulled out a shiny star and placed it at the top of the small tree. "The star was the heavenly sign of promise. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise on the night that Jesus Christ was born. Teach the children that God always fulfills His promises, and that wise men still seek Him."

"Red," said Santa, "is the first color of Christmas." He pulled forth a red ornament for the tiny tree. "Red is deep, intense, vivid. It is the color of the life-giving blood that flows through our veins. It is the symbol of God's greatest gift. Teach the children that Christ gave His life and shed His blood for them that they might have eternal life. When they see the color red, it should remind them of that most wonderful Gift."

Santa found a silver bell in his pack and placed it on the tree. "Just as lost sheep are guided to safety by the sound of the bell, it continues to ring today for all to be guided to the fold. Teach the children to follow the true Shepherd, who gave His life for the sheep."

Santa placed a candle on the mantle and lit it. The soft glow from its one tiny flame brightened the room. "The glow of the candle represents how people can show their thanks for the gift of God's Son that Christmas Eve long ago. Teach the children to follow in Christ's foot steps... to go about doing good. Teach them to let their light so shine before people that all may see it and glorify God. This is what is symbolized when the twinkling lights shine on the tree like hundreds of bright, shining candles, each of them representing one of God's precious children, their light shining for all to see."

Again Santa reached into his bag and this time he brought forth a tiny red and white striped cane. As he hung it on the tree he spoke softly. "The candy cane is a stick of hard white candy: white to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock the foundation of the church, and the firmness of God's promises. The candy cane is in the form of a 'J' to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth. It also represents the Good Shepherd's crook, which He uses to reach down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like all sheep, have gone astray. The original candy cane had three small red stripes, which are the stripes of the scourging Jesus received by which we are healed, and a large red stripe that represents the shed blood of Jesus, so that we can have the promise of eternal life.

"Teach these things to the children."

Santa brought out a beautiful wreath made of fresh, fragrant greenery tied with a bright red bow. "The bow reminds us of the bond of perfection, which is love. The wreath embodies all the good things about Christmas for those with eyes to see and hearts to understand. It contains the colors of red and green and the heaven-turned needles of the evergreen. The bow tells the story of good will towards all and its color reminds us of Christ's sacrifice. Even its very shape is symbolic, representing eternity and the eternal nature of Christ's love. It is a circle, without beginning and without end. These are the things you must teach the children."

I asked, "But where does that leave you, Santa?"

The tears gone now from his eyes, a smile broke over Santa's face. "Why bless you, my dear," he laughed, "I'm only a symbol myself. I represent the spirit of family fun and the joy of giving and receiving. If the children are taught these other things, there is no danger that I'll ever be forgotten."

"I think I'm beginning to understand."
"That's why I came," said Santa. "You're an adult. If you don't teach the children these things, then who will?"

(Author Unknown)

Let us remember the true meaning of Christmas this year.

Merry Christmas/ Feliz Navidad/ Buone Natalie/ Joyeux Noel!

(Feel free to copy the images and use them to teach your own children/blog readers/Facebook followers)

Updates... Again.

Sometimes I suck at blogging.
Other times I just really really need to share stuff.
Like this:

And the fact that I love you all.
I'll try to post more, I promise
(But I can't promise that will actually happen)

Search, Ponder, and Pray

I've been neglecting my blog. Poor dear.

I recently had a discussion with one of my friends. I expressed my excitement in order to go on a mission when I turn 19, and she, though trying to respect my decision, stated that she had decided not to go. When I inquired why, she said it was because her patriarchal blessing had focused a lot on her life as a wife and mother. I said I understood and said no more of it, but I couldn't help pondering her lack of enthusiasm.

You see, everybody else I've talked to is SUPER excited to go on a mission, myself included. It was strange in the least to find someone who considers herself so strong in the Church not excited. Not. One. Freaking. Whit.

It kept irking me until a couple days later, when I was in Seminary. Brother Larsen (Best male Seminary teacher I've ever had. Plus, he looks strangely like my dad o.O) talked about how awesome his mission was. He pointed out that we have to get ready for our missions even earlier now, preparing while we're in high school. He got so riled up that he started shouting, telling us that we should be EXCITED for our missions!

But the best part about the entire discussion is that he pointed out, girls, that if you leave when you're 19, you'll get back when you're 20-21. Most people don't even get married until they're 21 or 22, leaving you with plenty of time.And guess what? It will leave you a better person.

It proved to me that my friend was, at least, partially wrong. A mission will be a wonderful experience for you, and will help you raise your children in the gospel.

Girls, I don't know about you, but I'm going on a mission. And if you feel like you shouldn't, pray again, because whether or not the prophet commands it, a mission is for every young man and woman.

(In the name of Jesus Christ, amen)

P.S.:

"A desire to serve (a mission) is a natural outcome of one’s conversion, worthiness, and preparation." -Russell M. Nelson

What does that say about you?

MISSION

Okay, I'll admit I haven't updated in forever.
What can I say? I'm a busy girl.
But this most recent conference is definetly worth posting about.

2 1/2 years, suckers! WHOOP!

Trek!

Trek was an amazing experience.

Those who have been know that I'm not kidding.

Heck, there aren't words to describe it!

I had an amazing family:

And guess what?

We were at Martin's Cove/ Sixth Crossing/ Rocky Ridge/ Rock Creek Hollow...

OVER PIONEER DAY.

Freaking spiritual experience, let me tell you.

I also had the opportunity to trek for several people over the last few days:

Heber Robert McBride, 13: Heber came across the plains with his family in the Martin Handcart Company. His mother took sick and his father died (after the last crossing of the Platte River) so he and his older sister Janette carried their younger brothers and sister all the way to the Valley

Hannah Hawkey, 34: Hannah also came across in the Martin Company. She married a widower, Foster Hawkey and adopted his son, James, both of who died somewhere along the way. She carried her two daughters in the handcart most of the way, and they survived to reach the valley.

Ane Olsen, 46: Ane and her son Lorenzo (12) were from Denmark. Ane was known as a remarkably charitable person, giving money to people who needed it. She died after the treacherous ascent of Rocky Ridge, leaving Lorenzo an orphan. She was one of the 13 buried at Rocky Ridge (see the movie 17 Miracles)

Rebecca Cula Langman, 21: Rebecca, a single woman from England, was the only member of her family. She became a member at age 16. At age 20, she met Moses Cluff, a missionary. They became friends and talked of going to America. She traveled in the Willie Handcart Company, and Moses traveled with the Martin Handcart Company. 6 weeks after she arrived in the valley, she and Moses were married (terribly romantic, isn't it?)

I love all these people with all my soul.

I hope you do, too.

Team Cyrano

Cyrano de Bergerac is the best love story in the world.

Why?

One reason, mostly.

Cyrano's love for Roxane is completely selfless.

He helps Christian woo Roxane, knowing all the while that she will never love him. When Roxane and Christian were married, Cyrano distracts De Guiche, though it costs him much pain to witness his love marry another. Even after Christian dies, Cyrano lets Roxane live in her unrequited love, when he could be making his move. 

I've also decided that I'm "Team Cyrano", if we're going to separate into teams.

Cyrano has known Roxane his entire life, so he knows what a sweet soul she is.

Christian's love for Roxane is based entirely off of infatuation (and vice versa).

And I kind of think Roxane is not the best candidate for Cyrano.

Though she is kind-hearted and well meaning, she has a shallow idea about love.

Love shouldn't be about good looks and smooth talking- it should be about the love.

Hence the term.

Yup.

What's your favorite love story?

Prestige

I feel so prestigious.

Thanks to the liebling Emilee, I have been nominated (!!) for the Liebster award!

"The Liebster Blog Award is given to upcoming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The Meaning; Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome."

 Awww.. I feel so special.

THE RULES.

1. one must write eleven facts about themselves.

2. answer the questions the 'tagger' has set for you. 

3. provide eleven new questions for the people you tag.

4. choose up to elven people and link them in your post.

5. inform the 'tagged' of this prestigious award.

THE FACTS

1. Audiobooks are amazing. They make even books I hate tolerable. Twilight? I can stand it when I'm listening to it through ear-buds.
2.  I kind of ran into a fence today. No big deal (so say my parents)
3.  I'm kind of obsessed with accents. My current favorite is Scottish, though most days it's English.
4. I'm sleepy....
5. I have the cutest little sister in the world. Jus'sayin.
6. Honey toast is the best. Yumm.
7. The best love story in the world is Cyrano de Bergerac. I'll post my reasons later.
8. The Phantom of the Opera 25th Anniversary Edition at Royal Albert Hall. Win.
9. I'm watching my brother play Wii Tennis. It's kind of boring.
10. Young love is fickle
11. I'm singing the Veggie Tales "Pizza Angel" song in my head. I don't know why. It's just so catchy.

THE ANSWERS

What is your father's best quality?

Hmm..... Either his patience, or his sense of humor. Pops makes me giggle.

 
Best thing you ever ate?

 Ooh...... Lion House rolls. Best. Rolls. Ever.

 
What is your favorite scent?

Wildflowers. They remind me of home.

 
Favorite summertime memory?

 Ack... too many to count.... but I really liked that one time I went to Oregon.

 
Tell me about the scariest thing you ever encountered.

My friends when they're angry. Especially Arianna's loud voice. Don't make her use her loud voice.

 
What is the best book you've ever read?

 Ooh..... my two current favorites are The Host by Stephenie Meyer and The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater. I could give you a list, though.

 
What is the best compliment you've ever received?

 Talia told me I'm beautiful. It warmed my heart.

 
Favorite color of socks?

 Lime green. It's a weird color, but I like them.

 
What do you want to be when you grow up//dream profession?

 Ooh... that's a hard one.... I'd really like to do something. I don't know what exactly yet. (Underwater Basket Weaving)

 
Best class you've ever had. Why?

 English 10 Honors with Gallagher. She's an amazing teacher. And she tells funny stories.

 
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Right now, I kind of want to back to Terceria. I want to see a touradas à corda again.

THE QUESTIONS

Where was your favorite vacation?

What do you enjoy about your life right now?

What is the color of your toothbrush?

What's your favorite part of the Oreo? Cookie or Cream?

Would you rather learn to speak Farsi or Creole?

Favorite Beatles song?

THE PEOPLE
Jolyn
Kassie
Ashli

Employment

Look who got a job!

Come visit me. I'll sell you pizza.

Morp.

Superheroes. We went and saw Avengers for part of the date. Can you guess who we're supposed to be?

Camp

So... maybe we're crazy.

Just a bit.

Okay, maybe a lot.

 Maybe we see pregnant deer, and maybe watch them walk through with their baby a few days later....

 

 

Maybe we write crazy and *slightly* inappropriate remakes of One Direction songs....

And maybe we paint the Bishop's and Bro. Melick's nails...

Maybe we eat plates of fruit while posing for the camera...

And maybe I let Chloe take pictures of me with my cherubic face and my greasy hair...

 

And maybe we take long hikes...

 

 And maybe we go on death-defying high-wire trips just to go zip-lining. 

And maybe we go canoeing in leech infested waters....

Maybe this is Girls Camp...

Advice Bits.

Ladies, (and gentlemen), I am about to tell you something nobody ever bothered to explain to me.

If you are asking somebody on a date,

CALL THEM.

Don't text them.

(Let explain the problem with this to you: People always told me "Follow the Golden Rule. Treat others the way to want to be treated". So, since I actually prefer people to text me rather than to call me, I thought that this was all right. It wasn't.)

Poem 4 U

The Bagpipe Who Didn't Say No by Shel Silverstein

It was nine o'clock at midnight at a quarter after three
When a turtle met a bagpipe on the shore-side by the sea,
And the turtle said "My dearie,
May I sit with you? I'm weary."
And the bagpipe didn't say no.

Said the turtle to the bagpipe, "I have walked this lonely shore,
I have talked to waves and pebbles- but I've never loved before.
Will you marry me today, dear?
Is it 'No' you're going to say, dear?"
And the bagpipe didn't say no.

Said the turtle to his darling, "Please excuse me if I stare,
But you have the plaidest skin, dear,
And you have the strangest hair.
If I begged you pretty please, love,
Could I give you just one squeeze, love?"
And the bagpipe didn't say no.

Said the turtle to the bagpipe,
"Ah, you love me. Then confess!
Let me whisper in your dainty ear and hold you to my chest."
And he cuddled her and teased her
And so lovingly her squeezed her.
And the bagpipe said "Aaooga."

Said the turtle to the bagpipe,
"Did you honk or bray or neigh?
For 'Aaooga' when you're kissed is such a heartless thing to say.
Is it that I have offended?
Is it that our love is ended?"
And the bagpipe didn't say no.

Said the turtle to the bagpipe, "Shall I leave you, darling wife?
Shall I waddle off to Woedom? Shall I crawl out of your life?
Shall I move, depart, and go, dear?
Oh, I beg you tell me 'No', dear!"
And the bagpipe didn't say no.

So the turtle crept off crying and he ne'er came back no more.
And he left the bagpipe lying on that smooth and sandy shore.
And some night when tide is low there,
Just walk up and say "Hello, there,"
And politely ask the bagpipe if this story's really so.
I assure you, darling children, that the bagpipe won't say "No".